So first off I want to mention (because a few people have been asking now) that whenever I get very self critical on here it NEVER comes from a place of frustration or anything like this. The truth is quite the opposite, I actually don't know when the last time was I felt so motivated and eager to learn as I am now. This blog really helps me and it just feels amazing tackling those subjects I believe are my weakpoints, I just love doing stuff that is really really hard to do in general haha. So maybe it comes a bit from my writing style or from the way "I am" that stuff I say might seem a bit harsh towards myself but be absolutely assured that non of this is coming from me being frustrated or demotivated, aaaaaaaabsolutely not, I love that stuff <3
Now I have to admit that the last few days that stupid thought crept in that I was feeling not so good about the images I was posting here because I didn't liket them for they weren't "pretty". Today it kind of struck me that "oh wait, that's the entire point of this goddamn blog. you want to study hard, suck at stuff and show all of it, remember??". So yea I have to admit that I forgot that :D It's weird that absolutely stupid pressure of always showing your best is always on and before you can notice it you are posting images for the internet, hoping to get those likes or whatnot, it's SOOO STUPID!!
So yea I remembered that today and it felt really good! Embrace the failure guys!! haha :D
Now first of: Today's pencils. Basically this is nothing more than tackling the portrait subject from another angle and admittedly from the angle I suck the most at. I don't know why but I have suuuch a hard time showing stuff with line, which is incredibly obvious when I draw faces. I can't even say what it is really it's so strange, I make so many mistakes with a pencils that I never would've done with a big paintbrush making big shapes. I will keep at that and try to discover and push towards some new stuff. To be honest more than anything I do here, getting good at pencildrawing is a thing that's really important for me on a personal level. I just want to be able to do that stuff so bad, maybe BECAUSE it's so incredible hard for me, I don't know :D
So for these pencils I tried to keep them fairly quick, around 10 minutes each. The reason for that is that I tend to fuck up those pencils in the early stages because in portraits more than anywhere else I tend to get really caught up in details and forget about putting it together as a whole. I think thats why I suck so much at pencildrawing in general. When I have shapes in photoshop it's kind of natural for me to go general to specific. When I work with lines, however, I ALWAYS get caught up on unimportant details waaaaaay to much. time to fight that :D
The second part of todays update is the finished version of yesterday's painting. This one was really interesting to do. On a technical level there are a bunch of cool things which I actually like (although the way it's executed is still faaaar from where I want it) that is to say that the brushwork in some of those areas is pretty interesting to me, especially how it relates between loose areas and areas of major focus. There's some cool stuff there I newly discovered and I will get back into it with the next piece for sure.
BUT the thing that I noticed at the end is that it's basically just a really boring image :D sure it was fun on a technical level and I like some stuff about it but apart from that it's really boring to me, which is interesting because I though there would be this dude with this huge yak beast and there is some cool stuff going on in his armordesign as well and that all sounded pretty nice but now that I look at it it just bores me so much for some reason haha.
Anyways the next one will be thought through a little better I hope, so for now here are quick pencil portraits and the finished picture!
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